


Between the Candle and the Star

by romanticalgirl



Category: Brothers & Sisters
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-21
Updated: 2013-04-21
Packaged: 2017-12-09 03:37:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/769524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticalgirl/pseuds/romanticalgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Originally posted 7-28-08</p>
    </blockquote>





	Between the Candle and the Star

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted 7-28-08

Jason looks up at the knock on his office door, surprised to see Kevin standing there. They’ve run into each other a few times since their ill-advised dinner and not at all since Kevin and Scotty’s commitment ceremony. It takes him a minute to process things - Kevin looks amazingly good. Kevin’s wearing the tie I gave him for his birthday. Kevin’s waiting for me to say something. What the hell is Kevin doing here? - before he finally finds his voice. “If this is about the state passing the law, I will not do your wedding ceremony, but I can recommend someone who can.”

Sucker-punched isn’t exactly the look he expected, but it’s what he gets. Kevin stares at him with this mixture of disbelief and hurt on his face, and Jason wants to apologize even though he doesn’t know what for and, if it all comes down to it, he’s the one who deserves some sort of apology. 

“Do you really think I would ask you to do that?” Kevin tilts his head in that way he has, the one that disarms people because he looks like some sort of impish little kid instead of a cutthroat lawyer.

“You’re a Walker. I don’t put anything past you.” Jason shrugs and looks back at the papers on his desk for a moment before sighing and putting them aside, folding his hands together on the desk and turning his gaze back to Kevin. “Have a seat.”

“Thanks.” Kevin sits across from him and Jason lets himself really look as Kevin settles into the chair. He doesn’t look different, it’s just been a few months after all, but Jason finds he’s forgotten things. The slight line between Kevin’s brows that he gets when he frowns, the small lift to the corner of his mouth, how blue his eyes really are. “How are you?”

“Good. The church is doing well. I’m doing well. Good.” He rubs one thumb against the other and manages a smile. “You?”

“Good.” Kevin rubs his hands on his thighs, doing nothing to alter the crease in the fabric. Impeccable taste in clothes if nothing else. “I heard. About the church in Tennessee.”

“Oh. Yeah.” Jason nods and bows his head, closing his eyes and offering up a silent prayer. “Same story, you know? People think God is a thing they get to use to support whatever they believe. God told me to kill. God told me homosexuals are unclean. God told me that people who have sex with more than one person are animals. God told me. God told me.” He exhales shakily, forcing himself to take a few deep breaths before giving Kevin the smallest of smiles. “They all forget that God said ‘Thou shalt not kill’, you know?”

“I know.”

“We preach acceptance and brotherhood. We preach love and forgiveness and understanding. And we preach to the ones who agree with us. Is that preaching, Kevin? Or is it the same as these guys? Hearing what they want to hear to condone what they do?”

“What you hear doesn’t end in a bloodbath, Jason.” Kevin shifts in his chair and reaches out, his hand light on the back of both of Jason’s. “You know I don’t…know, don’t understand about belief, about faith. I know that my uncle Saul has faith in God. He honors the Sabbath. He prays. Lights the candles. And yet he’s lived in fear his entire life. I know God isn’t the only one we hear. We hear everyone around us. We hear ourselves. We hear…we hear the things that reinforce whatever course of action we want to take.”

“You know why you don’t believe, Kevin?”

Kevin’s hand is still resting lightly on Jason’s, and Jason turns his over so that Kevin’s fingertips just graze his palm. Kevin’s eyes close for an instant and Jason wants to smile, but maybe he’s just seeing what he wants to see. “You’re a lawyer.”

“Lawyers can’t believe in God?”

“Lawyers need everything proven beyond a reasonable doubt.”

“No,” Kevin laughs. “Juries do.”

“Lawyers do. And faith…faith is believing in spite of doubt.” Jason curves his fingers and brushes Kevin’s palms with his fingertips. “Or they’re hedging their bets because of doubts.”

“People believe because they need to, and they believe what they need to.” Kevin stands up and Jason feels that pull, that slow pain that burns as he takes his hand away and puts both in his pockets. He smiles and Jason wants it not to hurt, wants him to stay. “But better they believe your message than his.”


End file.
